The girl on fire.

I have no soul. I have no heart. It's been broken a billion times and shattered in front of my eyes.
"But how, Ellen?" I hear you ask (you're probably not asking, but I don't care). Because I finally read The Hunger Games trilogy. What pain! What anguish! I downloaded the books as .pdf files and spent Saturday and Sunday completely engrossed (which is difficult when you're looking at a computer screen for that long, with such deep concentration). Basically, I ate two meals over the stretch of the two days, and had about 5 bathroom breaks. It consumed me. I'm probably making it more intense than it sounds, but it was truly engaging. Now I just have to wait for March 23rd. Sigh.

Now, apart from losing my soul, not a lot has been happening. University starts in two weeks. As lazy as this sounds, I don't want to go back so soon (I've been on holidays since early December, but shut up). Time really has flown by. I've gotten so used to reading all day, taking my dog for a walk whenever I want... alas, my leisure time will soon vanish. I want to do the right thing and pre-read some stuff before I go back, and I have gotten a third of a way through one of my Security books. The only problem being I have 7 books (at least 600 pages each). Fuck. Not to mention the material is as dry as a bone. I have to read the same sentence about nine times before I actually understand it. I am dreading actually having to do the readings by myself. I almost need a translator.

I went into my mum's work on Friday to help her out with some admin stuff, because she has a big accreditation coming up, which is very serious (& she's the manager). So I worked as the secretary at the front desk, letting people in the front door (buzzing them in), stapling papers, sorting out forms, answering the phone etc. It was quite fun until I realised people kept spotting me spinning around in my chair and humming to myself. They probably think I'm mad. Rightfully so. It was quite busy though. I kept trying to find spots under the desk to take a nap without anyone noticing.

I'm also on this new.. health-kick thing. Which is code word for 'diet' or 'detox', but I refuse to acknowledge that. Basically I'm having smaller meal portions, having no alcohol, processed fats or sugars, and drinking lots of water and green tea. Now, as you can imagine, it's not the smaller meal portions that are killing me (although I would kill for a Nando's chicken burger right now), and it's not the sugar and fat ban. And I love green tea. And water, I suppose. It's the bloody alcohol ban that's crippling me. More than The Hunger Games (which is something I never thought I'd say). I just want a beer. Or a gin and tonic. Or a margarita. Or a cocktail. Or a scotch and coke. Anything. If I snap and kill somebody at the hairdressers or something, you'll know why.Wish me luck.

I also bought a backpack for university. I quite like it, I'm a bit unsure about it though. But I think it'll work. Apart from the above, nothing much has been happening. Same ridiculously hot weather (while the other side of the country is practically underwater). Same routines. Or lack thereof. I think I'll spend my two weeks of freedom desperately trying to pre-read all of my books (or most). Did I mention I'm also trying to read other books too? I'm still reading Sam Harris' "The Moral Landscape". And I have so many unread books on my bookshelf that I want to read. And I have fourteen days. Gulp. Should get a move on.

Ciao for now.

-ellen